Risk Management

There is no growth without risk.
The question of success or failure depends upon whether or not one is wise, or reckless.

A risk unwisely taken can demolish the edifice of one’s life work. A necessary risk not taken can undermine and destroy it in a different way. The energy becomes dark, and turns upon itself.

All potential that is not actualized becomes an impediment. The aborted form must be liquefied into raw energy to serve a new integration, which must be brought forth into being, and made to prevail.

Life is a series of births and deaths. Every risk taken for growth is a death and a rebirth. Every necessary risk not taken is a prolonged death. The wise one knows the self, and knows what is and is not necessary. The wise one knows how to lay his will into things.

Those who will become Great Transformers of the human experiment do not risk themselves mindlessly on reckless gambles, for such is suicide. Instead, they engage in a series of calculated risks wisely considered, and strengthen and extend the edifice of their life’s work thereby.

Nothing stands still. All is in motion.

“Knowing” is not static, but dynamic.

Becoming must reveal Being – which is not a given, but is forged by will.

The management of risk depends upon the perpetual quest for self-knowledge, and is governed by the courage and wisdom that arises from it.

-Werbinox

An American Awakening

America is arguably the most powerful nation ever to exist on earth, and is also the most diverse. Yet despite the diversity of our cultural, religious, and ideological backgrounds, there are some things we all tend to agree on with differing degrees of vagueness and clarity. One is the essential role that individual, political, and economic freedom plays in our lives and our prosperity. Another is the realization that something is going seriously wrong with American culture. Our nation is in crisis, and the apex has not yet been reached.


The economic engine of American opportunity and productivity is an unparalleled cornucopia of wealth and power, yet a nihilistic emptiness and animalistic mindlessness haunts the background of our materialistic carnival. The foundations for the most peaceful and harmonious co-existence of people from all over the world have been laid within our own borders, yet a culture of violence and irrationality, which glorifies excessive emotionalism and the use of raw force to solve all problems, threatens us from within, and has seeped into our children – some of whom are now committing crimes of senseless destruction on a scale that was unimaginable in past generations. Our technology advances to such a degree that soon human beings may not even be necessary - which may be just as well - for unlike these creations of ours, human beings on the whole are not evolving in any substantive fashion at all. Like rats in a maze we chase the flashing lights of bonus minutes and plasma TV’s and combination cell phone / computer / Global Positioning devices, becoming every bit as mechanical and programmed as the technology that leads us. Our principles of personal liberty have been a beacon to the world, yet much of our Constitution has been suspended in the name of security against a threat our own government has played a demonstrable role in creating. Our weapons of mass destruction grow even more destructive, yet we grow no wiser or more deserving of their possession.


A caveman with a club and a caveman with a missile are both still cavemen. One can just cause more death than the other. To pursue the path of an ever-evolving material power without a corresponding evolution of consciousness is akin to giving a flamethrower to an adolescent. It is sheer insanity!


The twentieth century writer Julius Evola wrote “If one day normal conditions were to return, few civilizations would seem as odd as the present one, in which every form of power and dominion over material things is sought, while mastery over one’s own emotions and psychic life in general is entirely overlooked.” This insight gives us one of many keys we can use to begin the attempt at pulling our society out of the abyss it is spiraling into. To save a culture as obsessed with power and wealth as ours, we must redefine what “wealth” and “power” actually are.


Consciousness is a funny thing: people think they already have it, and therefore spend no time in acquiring more of it. Yet if you spend time examining your own habits, you might be surprised at how much knowledge of yourself you are missing. Watch the actions of others, and you might be shocked to discover that you are surrounded by sleepwalkers who move through life as if through a dream, unaware of the contrived, subconscious, and symbolic nature of the forces that shape them.


Technological power is not true power, and material wealth is not true wealth. In all cases it involves a man or woman who does not change at all despite their ability to acquire possessions and manipulate their surroundings. A man who has no power over his own mind and emotions is not powerful, no matter what office he holds or how many weapons he owns. A woman who cannot find her value within herself is not wealthy, no matter how much she owns. True wealth and power belongs to an inner, conscious, even “spiritual” state. In extraverted, materialistic America, this concept is as alien as the willful poverty preached by original Christianity!


Now we have the “War on Terror”, “War on Drugs”, “War on the Middle Class”, etc. and all these terms are misleading in the extreme. We are actually in the midst of a War against the true power of self-knowledge, and the true wealth of psychological and spiritual evolution. Our own culture wages this war against us, a war against the very self-mastery and growth of consciousness that our survival depends upon. To recognize this is but a step forward towards a true Awakening in America.

- Werbinox

Birth of the Dark Lord

In the beginning was the Unknown, to which humankind responded with Fear & Wonder.
Presently nothing has changed.

Self-preservation & security demanded association with others.
There was safety in numbers, and security within the Herd.
To Belong was the first God.

To be cast out of the group, and exposed to the fathomless shadows of the Unknown was the first & greatest fear; from this the Dark Lord, the Enemy in Exile, was born.

The Herd was the first & primary God, and remains so.
Belonging to the Herd was the first & primary Religion, and remains so.
From this all Right Hand Path religions flow.

A sense of safety, comfort, power, and the ecstasy of immersion are the gifts of this God;
submission to the expectations, customs, beliefs, and laws of the Herd are His Commandments.

Failure to conform to the customs, beliefs, and laws of the Herd resulted in the first Sin, which resulted in banishment from the warmth, protection, and association of the group.

Ostracism & banishment threatened the transgressor's ability to reproduce,
thereby threatening his genetic immortality.

The Dark Lord was born in exile - cast out of Heaven!
The howling wastelands are his domain,
and only beasts and monsters are his companions.

To survive & thrive in an accursed land,
this "Accursed One" was forced to learn that the whole world is his,
and that no godz exist, but for he himself.

- Makt Geffal

Ciuvienen (before the Great Migration)

Awaken

under stars by the lake
of First Seeing

when the Earth was fetal
yet old beyond our comprehension

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Step Forth

in discovery
and the crafts of artistry

learning to speak
endowing all things with value
and the life within our skills

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Play

under deep
somber skies before Sun and Moon
bounded by mystery
and the pathless unknown

with dark forests that harbor
even darker shapes that move
and follow us

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Grow Wary

filled with a nameless dread
by the shadows that walk in the hills above
and spy from the caverns beneath

eyes upon us with sinister intent
casting a net to snatch away
those who wander from the group
never to be seen again

taken by the Hunter
to dungeons beyond our vision
and tortures beyond our imagining




<><><><><><>*<><><><><><>*<><><><><><><>

Set Forth

under threat
we yet grow
weaving first strings
in the growing tapestry of future legends

and clouds of war / rise to the north
a great rending
impenetrable gloom on the horizon
herald the call
of a great migration
to wonders and rumors more magnificent
than our lake of first vision,
though we no longer feel the eyes of the enemy

Is it true?
Must we depart so soon
from this dark and beloved
dangerous land?
- Where everything throbs with a depth
of infinite beauty and power
that one day, long away
shall fade?

-Werbinox

Psychocosmic Resonance

One of the first 'magical locations' I ever discovered was Warren Dunes State Park overlooking Lake Michigan. Tower Hill, a 200 ft high mound of sand, was monarch of the beach. From its crest on a clear day one could, with the aid of binoculars, see the distant Chicago skyline as a faint apparition on the horizon. The sky seemed to be a deeper blue at the dunes, a glimpse of some rarer, more ecstatic world. I realized later that being there, or even just thinking about being there, activated my own archetypal imagination, that wellspring of imagery and undecipherable emotions that suck the raw material of the sensory world into a vortex and reshapes it into something that could not exist without the interaction between us. I later termed this realm the Alterworld - that threshold realm where the inner and outer universe meet and we 'alter' each other in a constant dance.

Something about Warren Dunes activated this in a special way, a kind of geographical parallel to certain types of music that produce the same supra-terrestrial effect. Later, when I visited the much more grandiose Sleeping Bear Dunes, it had the same effect, even to the point of inspiring visions that have stayed with me. In my mind I combined both locations into one, forming a psychologically charged Dune Planet. At times, when the Alterworld rises, I am as good as there. No matter where I may be, a portal opens that connects me to this place. I can see straight to it, like peering behind the stage sets of this phenomenal world, or - "reality", to see that it is all around us. My mind uploads it and superimposes it upon the environment where I physically stand.

This is quite understandable. To associate such locations with an active imaginal subconscious at such an early age almost guarantees that I would forever associate the two. Having said all that, when it comes upon me, no matter where I am, I also stand at the summit of the Dune Planet. My magical self is there. Whether spiritually or psychically or by alternate dimensions I am actually "here" and "there" simultaneously. A child climbing Tower Hill might look up and see me as a phase shifting hologram gazing out into the distance. Then I am gone.

The Alterworld is my own version of what we all have. The 'magical universe' of the mind interacts with the physical world in ways not fully understood (the lines between inner and outer are not so distinct as we think) Transdimensional physical manifestations are fun on many levels, but are not necessary to the concept.

Alterworld imagery is anything but limited to Dune Planet. In fact there are no limits. There are certain themes that are favored. Every geographical nexus that resonates with the undercurrents of one's own psychocosm gets added on in a type of surrealist evolution. Next stop - Colorado!

The two years I lived in Golden, at the very foot of the Rocky Mountain wall on the periphery of Denver, amount to a 'finite infinity', or an eternity sandwich (A rarefied space is rendered infinite by the effect of rarity - Maurice Blauchot) The experience never really ended. It resonates on and on. The land and air is infused with a raw energy of frontier archetype mountain man grizzly claw Kit Carson Indian fighting wagon trains braving wild demonic blizzards with severe men scared children resourceful women swept up by the Great Spirit who keeps his lonesome night solar abode on the lofty crags of the Continental Divide. The Colorado sky is a sacred tent cast over pinnacle gods / Forces of Nature radiating majestic indifference / carbonate the blood, cleanse the head and heart and lungs.
Here, in my Colorado of the mind and soul, one gets beauty enough to change one's life forever, or to one day vanish if you wish into the forests a stoic, wise or gibbering madman left alone to run amok for you are touched, the cord has been cut, baby! You wouldnt want to come back if you could.

At times, when the Alterworld rises, I stand in the West. I have a clear and uncorroded connection with the Battery. Tho I may be walking down a rainy Georgia blacktop, I occupy my psychic office high in the Rockies. I can see the fabled Four Corners from my bay window. My familiar, a messenger eagle, soars on a current overhead. Flames dance upon coals in a stone fireplace next to an ornate wooden earth globe. Snowshoes lean against the wall underneath a gun rack. I am expecting, O I dont know - Jeremiah Johnson and his new squaw for dinner.

The most recent location of psychocosmic resonance is, actually, where I live right now - the whole of North Georgia centering on the space stretching between Gainesville and Dahlonega. That may seem strange but it is true. I felt a distinctive attraction to North Georgia from the very first encounter, way back before I was 10 yrs old. It is almost ridiculous the amount of excitement generated by my first glimpse of a line of old worn Appalachian hills. This area has always struck me with its self-contained zone of "otherness".

After my brief stay in LA, I returned to Georgia and was drawn back to the Gainesville area. I eschewed 985 in favor of Ga. 400. As I approach the northern terminus at Hwy 60, where one may turn left to go to Dahlonega or right to Gainesville, I get a blast of Colorado highlands, spirit ridges howling wind and snow feral beasts wing beats full moon in metaphysical stratosphere. It is indescribable and undeniable. I am still not sure what that other world is, or where its emotions come from (or even what they are) but it is beautiful. Alterworld psychic resonance!

This area was old Cherokee land before they were genocidally 'evacuated' by the dark side current of American history. I recently discovered via my Mom that I had a Cherokee great grandmother who apparently was a scary - crazy type and a native sorceress. Is my attraction in the blood? Was I myself a Cherokee once, having returned to my ancient homeland as prophesied (?!)
Are such things explainable by these corny well worn formulations? Are they explainable at all?

Explaining is not so important. Living is.

It does not escape me when I walk the woods and hills of my neighborhood that I live precisely in the location that has magnetized my psychocosmos for more than 20 years. I have managed to set up residence in an Alterworld geographical analogue. All as it should be.

When I reach the highest point in my walk, I sometimes leave the road and climb a steep hill into the woods, scattering deer. I face the west and see the mountains over Dahlonega, site of America's original gold rush and shot in the arm from the land grab syringe. The Alterworld rises. I log on to Dune Planet. I sit in my office in the West, staring into the glorious abyss (an official job description) I stand where I belong: quantum phase time now! A transdimensional triangle opens behind and above the stage scenery, connecting me with all other magical locations in my history so far. Lines of operating code fly by. I want to utilize them. I Gaze at apparitional cityscapes from Tower Hill, soar in the absolute freedom of the Rocky Mountain sky, and look towards the worn gold bearing hills of my ancient homeland.

It is all me; it is all you; and the world is a symbolic analogue and our psychic playground.

- Werbinox

Brain Storm

In the spirit of brainstorming, I throw the following loose-knit splatter at the wall:
Elements that should be an essential part of any "American Awakening" are:

The pursuit of a diamond-like clarity of perception and consciousness. The attainment is one thing (a high thing indeed) but inestimable good can come from an ethic and attitude that encourages even the pursuit of such a thing, which is not currently a goal within American culture (nor even considered as something that exists)

Linked with the above is the pursuit of Self Mastery - of the mind, of the emotions; the ability to Not React!; to cleanse oneself of fever, mania, agitation, and craving…the very things that our culture promotes and encourages. Look at the behavior of so many characters in popular movies and TV shows (if you happen to watch any of them) and you can see the image of "power" and "virility" that is portrayed to our civilization: a bunch of spoiled, neurotic, tantrum throwing adolescents in adult bodies. From this I see that, underneath the purely "entertainment" rationale, our culture idolizes a lack of self-control as a type of power, all because it is more entertaining! (Nietzsche wrote that "weakness seduces because it is more interesting": the masses in general find true power boring for it is calm not histrionic)

Responsibility - by which is meant "Positive Power", not the "Hot Potato" of the blame game. Incorporated in this is responsibility for the environment (alternate fuel technology as a start) and liberation from the "victim mentality" (which some will never want to relinquish, due to the voluptuous pleasure that hides within all accusation)

Liberation - from the phantoms and "mind shadows" that rule our mental, social, and political existence in this age.

A new embrace of the Great Teacher of Solitude…to win independence from the dulling effect of endless diversions and “bright shiny lights” and loud noises and bluster of “civilization”. Only by daring to enter the deserts and voids and jungles within can true treasures be found.

All of the above links together in a very organic way. The goal of one includes the others. Also, to foster a growing mentality that is conducive to the perception of life and the world as something that is Beyond and Above the molds of the purely power-political horizons we have straight-jacketed ourselves in. A vision of life as something that in actuality transcends the small, contingent, all too human forms we transpose on everything in order to bend it to our pre-conceived, brain-washed notions which are fuelled by a desire for power over others (involving fear and insecurity) and our various biological / psychological cravings, and manias….which are fueled by industry and the media and our entire system which profits from them. Much dead skin must be sloughed off. Much be eliminated, not by attacking it tho, but by allowing it to atrophy on the vine. Putting it on ice.

We are the most addicted society. To cleanse ourselves from mania and intoxication will involve, on the more material plane, weaning ourselves willfully from drug addiction, the intoxication of distraction (the basis of our whole economy) and our worship of blind technologism. All of these are drug-like attachments and enslaving dependencies. American culture has no chance of accomplishing any of this as long as it is so totally addicted across the board. Actual chemical dependency makes freeing oneself from the rest practically impossible. Weaning our physical existence from drug dependency and an unhealthy diet and lifestyle is but a preparation for the liberation from sheer animalistic existence.

The Drug War itself must end (along with all our other endless wars) In the political sphere we can remove the criminal element thru legalization, and treat addiction as a medical, not a legal problem. Focus on treatment. Nothing will come of it, tho, without a purposeful and powerful counter-ethic to replace the former focus on self-destruction. For our country, what I myself have in mind is a type of reformed and re-spiritualized Christianity meets an "Americanized" Buddhism, or for the more physically oriented, an authentic yet reformulated type of Tantrism; an earth-conscious, socially responsible, non-governmental Christianity (returned to its roots) combined with the emphasis on self-mastery of the mind and emotions found in Buddhism; good old American-idealized self-reliance meets compassion meets a heroicized ethic of self control, consciousness expansion, and spiritual ascendance.

Tantrism provides interesting possibilities, for it reformulated the Doctrine of Maya (world as an illusion) into a Doctrine of Shakti (female divinity; generative Power waiting to be acted upon) The world as Shakti is the “world as Power”. Since it aims for Immanent Transcendence; i.e. transcendence “here” rather than “there”, plus the simultaneous enjoyment of the world and a free experimentation with its pleasures (as contrasted with the more cerebral Buddhist ascesis) it might be a legitimate source to mine for a movement to “resacralize” the American Mentality. It involves sex, so there you go!

Of course, we must end this war first, and swing the current towards a discovery of peace, non-interference with the cultures of others, and the positive power of responsibility as the greatest "weapons" in our arsenal. These currents exist already in our culture, as seeds awaiting their chance to grow and spread.

Knowing my aversion to Christianity in general, you may find it surprising to read that I support it in any way. We cannot make any headway towards a spiritual awakening in our culture without building it upon our traditional structures. Christianity must be an essential base for it in America, and original Christianity (non-national, non-political, non-militaristic) with its emphasis on helping the less fortunate, and on forgiveness, is a very necessary and healthy thing for people in general. Whether or not it moves me as an individual is beside the point. For our society it is a good thing, yet it must be cleansed of the current infections it has picked up. In relation to this, the ground is well prepared in this country for understanding the demanding ethic of self-conquest that is promoted by original Buddhism. The two should go together quite well. When our national "will to power" is diverted from its external manifestations, it must find a new outlet - the esoteric, internal dimension. Now is a great time to divert world conquest into self-conquest!

Using the recent “Ted Haggard” scandal as an example (and there are all too many like him) we confront the spectacle of preachers and "men of God" who exercise an influence and authority over their parishioners, only for them to discover that these preachers are absolutely out of control in their own lives, exercising almost zero power over themselves, breaking with a will every "commandment" that they preach. Even worse than this is the horrified refusal of the preacher to face his own true nature. I bring this up only to show the obvious failure of this current corrupted form of "christianity", and the danger it represents to the health of the psyche and its necessity to discover its true nature without fear. These people are denying their complex natures, crushing the greater flourishing within themselves, and actually strengthening the demons inside of them by their beliefs and practices. My understanding of the teachings of Jesus is that he promoted something very different from this.

In an earlier communication I wrote about a hierarchic vision of society, with a beneficial religion for the "masses", within and above which would exist a more involved teaching to a 'caste" of Initiates, which I referred to as "Brahmins". Hindu terminology aside, I do not mean by this anything resembling the rigid and prejudiced system of India. I have in mind an Americanized version of it, meaning a non-class, non-gender, non-ethnic, non-dogmatic “Aristocracy of the Spirit”, composed of individuals from all walks of life who work independently and / or in a loose-knit alliance with other seekers and teachers (those who possess the Brahmin-nature) to promote a consciousness shift (Awakening) in American culture. A good example of the work to be done is the very proposed Project that started these dialogues. From our standpoint, we can promote a vision that is very healthy and beneficial to our society, which can help steer it where we think it needs to go, even as the initiatory knowledge we ourselves pursue is of a more wide-ranging variety, demanding of a more rigorous discipline that leads to insights that cannot easily be shared with those who are not on the same path.

I am currently influenced by a strain of thought called "Traditionalism", which studies the teachings of the esoteric schools and "wisdom traditions" that existed as secret initiatic orders within the larger body of religious movements throughout history. Such societies had a level of its religion for the people in general, yet within the generalized teachings were deeper levels of truth that were revealed to those suited and willing to undertake the rigorous self-work and discipline necessary to achieve initiatic knowledge, which is not book learned, but grasped by effort and experience. The study of ancient texts of these schools reveals a certain general body of knowledge that is similar if not the same from culture to culture, regardless of the context in which they were taught. Wise people see that different peoples and times require different paths to the top of the mountain, and this explains the different approaches, even tho the knowledge always involves a rigorous process of self-discovery, analysis and unraveling of the ego to expose the transcendent and absolute Self in its immeasurable totality within, and an ascendance towards the God-nature that we all possess yet must be worked on to truly activate in a conscious fashion. Initiatory knowledge never ends, but winds like a path thru all of eternity. It is a demanding path, and not for everyone, hence the "outer levels" of the public aspects.

There are many different paths and traditions by which people have worked towards this knowledge. Ancient Greece had its Mystery Schools; Hinduism has the different Yogas, and the meditational discipline (and as I pointed out about Tantra, which utilizes very physical practices designed to unlock energies in the body, it could be a good element for body and sex obsessed Americans, who are nevertheless contradictory in their approach: witness the obsession with physical perfection on TV, and the rampant obesity and lack of exercise in the public)
Jewish tradition has the study of the Kabala, which is a very involved system of correspondences and experiences; Islam has Sufism; Christianity has the esoteric knowledge embodied in Gnostic teachings (which we know were a threat to the institutional vision of the Catholic church)

In ancient Egypt the practice of magic was inseparable from religion and spirituality, (which was present in all ancient forms of religion) and this tendency passed to Europe as the Hermetic tradition (Carl Jung accurately calls Alchemy a "psychic / spiritual process expressed in pseudo-chemical language) The practice of magic has its own eastern traditions as well, especially in forms of Taoism, and is a root of so-called fellaheen civilization in the form of Shamanism - the oldest spiritual practice of all, one which is enjoying a current revival (in both shameless and honorable forms) It has been estimated that as many as one out of every ten people or so possesses “shamanistic” tendencies and abilities, however latent, unconscious, or developed. In so-called primitive cultures such people were looked for, and trained; giving them a context for personalities that, in western cultures, leads them to isolation, drugs, and even mental institutions. Such individuals in an ideal “future culture” should be pointed towards a beneficial training and use of their unique abilities in the healing of those around them, such as friends and family. One cultures “neuroses” and even “insanities” are a source of power and reconnection to transcendence for another.

It may sound corny, but we should not discount the currents to be found in modern paganism, mainly what is called Wicca. Certainly there is as much shallowness and hypocrisy and delusion to be found within it as any other religion, yet there are some very sincere spiritual questers within it also, some who are themselves seeking a re-fusion of earth consciousness, social responsibility, and spirituality. Whether we agree with their path or not, they can be great allies to the over-all goal of a healthier, saner America.

Original Buddhism was unique in its rejection of hierarchy between an esoteric and popular teaching, yet after the founder's death (as in so many cases) foreign and diffuse elements crept in, and now that there is as bewildering a variety of Buddhist denominations as there are Christian, the true esoteric core of Buddhism can only be found by a purist approach to its original form. Of course, the teachings also exist in a popular form that promotes an ethic that is highly compatible with original Christianity.

Masonry was supposed to be such an esoteric force for good in American civilization, and the Mason is supposed to a type of "Brahmin" in our culture. It sure exercised a power in the lives of the founders, politicians, and Presidents. Having Masonry in my family, I can attest that it has long ago lost its spiritual root and authority, and is now largely a degenerated "club" atmosphere of good ol' boys who get together to drink or argue or play cards (they can be good at raising money for charity) but there is no longer a source for real spiritual power within them.

I myself am actively engaged on the Magical path, which despite what you may have heard or read is a path of self-transformation, discovery, an energizing of one's true will, and an active identification with one's own “Higher Self” (God-Nature) The path of Magic, in its purest form, is all about Awakening, and taking responsibility and control of one's own power to shape oneself and the world around them. Magic also has an esoteric core (as it did in alchemy) in relation to the “popular” face that degenerated into soothsaying, love potions, stage magic, “witchcraft”, and all the other trappings of lower magic. High Magic is about consciousness expansion, self-transformation, and achieving a more-than-human, or “divine” state.

All of these paths exist to the top of the mountain. They must all be utilized in an effort to transform American consciousness. The goal of each is fairly compatible with the rest, yet since there are so many different natures left to discover themselves, there will be many different routes. You and I and Drew all take separate “paths”, but what we are after is largely the same, especially in the sense of an Awakened America.

The American character at its best is all over the map, and an infusion from different cultures crosses our borders every day. This is why, in my view, an American Awakening must be a composite of different approaches and traditions, each one becoming re-energized for its own followers and “initiates”’ a re-energizing conducted by “Brahmins” within the various disciplines who might just take the time to reach out and correspond with the “Brahmins” of other movements for the purposes of a general and wide spread goal to positively effect the entire society.

- Werbinox

Spider in the Center

There are two paths: one leads to servitude, the other to liberation. It’s principles are: “I am this” and “I am not this”. Man is bonded by the former and liberated by the latter.

- Kularnava Tantra (translated from Sanskrit to Italian, then to English)

The way to liberation has as its principle: “I am not this”. What matters is to abolish, not in one’s thought but in the deepest roots of existence, the evidence expressed in this thought: “I am this being, determined in such and such a way: that which this being is, I am also”. The first and necessary operation of the Royal Art (alchemy) consists in the disidentification, or in the extraction, of “gold” from the “stone”.

- EA

No longer identify yourself with your feelings, but rather receive them and observe them as you would external things. Only then will feelings be able to speak to you – when you cease to be lost in them and concerned only with enjoying and suffering.
At the center of yourself, like a spider that keeps under control all the strings of its web and their vibrations, let there be a calm self-control and a scrutinizing lucidity, purified and fearless, open to every voice.


- Abraxas

Fascist Factories and Protective Eggs

I am driving thru a sunny forest. I come to my turn-off. Looking down it, I do not recognize it. A brief flash of fear! I am lost.


I feel menaced by something that cannot be seen, yet a sense of solitude and emptiness surrounds me. The enemy is everywhere, but nowhere. I see a dirty, rusted old factory at the end of the road behind me. I do not want to go there. It looks abandoned, but I know that it isn’t. “They” all work there.


Who are “they”? Redneck skinheads! I seem to intuit this, and even have a vision of them in the dream, a bunch of shaved-headed thugs running towards me in a mob of white t-shirts and grimacing faces. This does not actually happen in the dream, although I get a snapshot of it, like a mental picture…a visual thought within a dream!


I drive into a town similar to Helen, Ga. It is in a pseudo-Bavarian style, cheesy and touristy. It is hauntingly empty. The sun shines. It is a beautiful day.
“Aryan Nation” signs hang from light poles. Racist white-power placards are posted everywhere. One reads – “Jew, if you are reading this, you are already dead” or something very similar to that. Yet the town remains empty. “They” are all at the factory.


I drive down the turn-off I was originally reluctant to take. I enter some tire & auto store. It is dark and empty. Suddenly it is filled with giant painted eggs, similar in appearance to the Ukrainian eggs my mom and Heather paint, and are traditionally supposed to ward off “evil” (an art form they took up just before Charles was diagnosed with cancer) These eggs were as big as cars in a showroom. I marveled at their beauty. One was painted a sky-blue similar to the color of the sky on my Tarot deck, a color that I love, and is something that I noticed within the dream itself. I punched the egg and it bounced, as if it was a huge balloon. This made me laugh.


I knew that this was a dream. To take advantage of it, I purposefully did things that are physically impossible in waking life. I bounced off of the walls like a cartoon character, flying and defying the laws of gravity, doing a Daffy Duck Looney Tunes laugh as I did so. The store owner came to the front door and stared at me from the parking lot outside. He could not enter. He appeared to be Arabic! He stared at me in horror.


I stopped bouncing and tried to open the front door, to let myself out and let him in. I couldn’t open the door. I couldn’t get out. I was tired of the dream and wanted it to end. I worked hard at awakening myself (there’s symbolism and synchronicity for ya!) I yelled, I sang, I stretched my face with my hands and acted like an idiot, all to wake up. Nothing worked. How tenacious this dream was! Maybe it wasn’t a dream? I never lost sight of the fact that it was. I finally gave up and laughed at the folly of my efforts. It was just so damn funny to me that I could not wake up. As I laughed, I sat up in bed and looked at the clock.


- Now, the dream is one thing, interpretation is another. Dream interpretation can be very useful, probably more than we even know, yet it is not an exact science by any stretch. I think this one has something to do with the state of the country, the upcoming election, and my fear that America is being overrun with its own form of fascism. The turn-off that I do not recognize can be any number of things, from a symbol of being “lost” to a fear of taking a “wrong turn”. The Ukrainian eggs are very interesting, especially since they are traditionally supposed to be amulets against “evil”. I feel menaced throughout the dream (by skinheads / fascism) and so it is no surprise I conjure up these protective symbols, and that they are as big as cars! Another idea concerns what amulets against evil symbolize: it makes no difference that such symbols cannot actually ward off evil, yet it means everything when such things begin to appear, for it is a sign that “evil is approaching”. They are more signs and symptoms of an approaching threat than anything else. If you reverse the causality they make perfect sense. Also, my adoption of a god-like power in the dream is interesting (taking advantage of it) as well as my efforts to wake up, which totally fits the program I have been pursuing. In this sense the dream was a perfect mirror of my waking psychological state, a clever little analogue to everything I am engaged in.


It also does not escape me that the tire store may be Iraq: I am trying to “get out” and cannot let the “Arab owner” inside. I am running amok like a Looney-Tunes god inside his store, as he stares at me in horror.

- Werbinox

Do You Want Us To Win?

The latest hyper-Republican attack on war critics involves flinging the question “Do you want us to win?” aggressively in their faces. So typical this technique is, and quite insulting to human intelligence, for it is designed to paralyze the human mind and back it into a corner where there can be no answer but “yes” or “no”, as if there are no other complexities to the issue. It is no different than asking “are you for Jesus or against him?” or – “Does your momma know you are gay?”


There are in fact many ways to respond to this question, not the least of which is to point out that whether I want us to win or not is immaterial to the course of defeat and national bankruptcy we are actually on. Are we winning now? Plus, how does one define “winning”? Is the act of being bogged down in a middle eastern war that sinks our nation deeper into the hole of a growing catastrophic debt - winning? Is the constantly climbing death rate of our troops, who are in the midst of a civil war and a fight against an insurgency that uses guerilla tactics - a sign of our winning? Is the suspension of our Constitution and the establishment of a base for a police state dictatorship in the name of a false security – winning? Is fighting a war that can never be won – winning?


It is not “do you want us to win” but rather – “do you want us to survive?” “Do you want us to have anything left that is actually worth fighting for?”


This is not an attack on the troops, who are performing their job admirably in the worst of all possible conditions. But this illustrates one of the reasons we cannot win this war: our troops are performing a job, while our enemy is not!
It is the same situation that America faced in Vietnam: our troops were halfway around the world, performing what was to them a “job” and a “duty”. The Viet Cong were not just doing a “job”, they were ideological fanatics fighting on their home turf. For them it was a struggle to the death, and no amount of death was too much to accomplish the goal of defeating the invader, which was us. The same is true once again with the enemy we fight now. Soldiers who fight because it is their job do not have what it takes in the long term to defeat an endless supply of religious / ideological fanatics who are fighting on their home turf against a foreign invader, which in this case is us, again. The “job” mentality cannot win in this battle of endurance. The American people do not belong in Iraq; it is not our home. Most of our troops just want to finish their tour of duty and come home. They are not ideologically motivated like our enemies are. Furthermore, the American democracy that has previously backed this effort does not have the will for this battle over the long haul. Another election or two, and the war will be ended, no matter what the conditions in Iraq are (unless democracy becomes totally suspended, and a dictatorship keeps us fighting against the popular will) We cannot win this war. It is the Middle East, after all. What did we think was going to happen?!


I know references to Viet Nam can seem tiresome and overdone, but it was the only war where America has suffered a defeat, and the conditions in this current war are similar. Our people are becoming tired of seeing their sons and daughters, moms and dads dying in a foreign land, halfway around the world; men and women who are performing their duty against an enemy that is religiously-fanatically motivated to fight until they gain control of their homeland. The reality of the situation is that we cannot win. Every death in this war is senseless.


Think of how the collapse of the Soviet Union was hastened by the arms race. During the Reagan years it was calculated that American capitalism could sustain the pressures of an arms race without breaking, whereas the Soviet system would buckle and cave. An arms race was launched, and although America incurred massive debt, the Soviet Union died. Now consider that the same basic thing is being done to us. The attack on the Pentagon and the Twin Towers was not meant to destroy the US at once, but to get us to launch an all out war in the middle east. The Taliban were confident they could draw us into a quagmire like they did the USSR. I think they were surprised at how efficiently they were deposed. Nevertheless, the basic plan can continue, for the Taliban have returned with a strategy of “wear em down” and “wear em out” guerilla tactics. Then came the Big Blunder: we invaded Iraq.


American government meddling in Iran in the seventies (the Shah was backed by the US) coupled with American support of Israel, directly fuelled the Islamic Revolution in that country, which led to the Ayatollah Khomeini and the hostage crisis. When Saddam Hussein attacked Iran, the US govt. began to support and arm him, helping to make the monster that he became. When Saddam gassed the Kurds, the US govt. looked away, for he was performing a service that was useful to our short-sighted foreign policy. The people of the middle east were not ignorant of this, and when it surfaced that the US govt. had also sold arms to the Iranian govt. and in turn passed those illegal funds to the contras, it made us look even worse. After the Iran / Iraq war ended, Saddam invaded Kuwait, an act his govt. claimed was it expressly given a “green light” to do by the US ambassador in Iraq. Suddenly this former ally which the US had armed is our now enemy, and American forces are mobilized in Saudi Arabia. When Osama Bin Laden saw American troops in the Holy Land, he decided that America, the “Great Satan” was indeed involved in a plan to politically, militarily, and economically dominate the middle east. We had, after all, armed Saddam before we turned against him. America in fact has quite a history of arming its future enemies / past allies. When we speak of America’s responsibility in instigating this whole mess, this is what we are talking about. Our foreign double-dealing sowed the harvest we now reap.


Responsibility and blame are not the same thing. The “blame game” is a negative attempt to avoid responsibility, while responsibility is a positive attempt to step forward and assume the ability to analyze and correct the situation. The whole “blame America first” accusation is a political ploy meant to blind you to America’s need to take responsibility for its own dilemma. A responsible America is a nation that is mature enough to accept the consequences of its own actions, and which will step forward and assume an actual command of the situation it finds itself in, which necessitates an honest appraisal of past actions that have created our enemies in the first place, and subsequently played into their hands.


Al Qaida’s top leaders probably saw it like this: the only time America has been defeated was when it got bogged down in an endless war against an ideologically committed enemy that utilized guerilla tactics. America would get bogged down in an endless war on turf that was not its own; a divisive war that would tear apart the political and social culture, instigate a totalitarian response undermining the nation’s culture of freedom, and bankrupt its treasury, ultimately ruining its economy. In short, the events of September 11th were designed to be a sure-fire way to instigate America into the type of economic, political, and cultural quagmire that brought down the Soviet Union. Whether or not our enemies actually saw it with this kind of foresight is at least debatable, but the eventual outcome of our current course is not. To “stay the course” is to commit national suicide.
Victory equals the survival of the United States as an economically viable and truly free nation. Victory equals bringing our troops home from a hell in which they do not belong, and sparing their valuable lives. They too are American citizens, lest we forget. To achieve this victory requires us to change course, and to do it quick.

Now I ask the war proponents: Do You Want Us To Win?


- Werbinox