The Deviancy of Non-Natural Consciousness

According to primitive Buddhist texts, one of the first questions that was posed to an aspiring student was “are you really a man?” – a question that relates to an old Hindu belief that many humans are actually animals who have, via reincarnation, just recently made it to the human form, but who nevertheless remain “animal” in the sense of being locked in an unconscious and pre-programmed nature, and who have not in the least gotten a handle yet on the possibilities offered by this “being human” gig.

One of the great distinctions between the human and the animal realm is the complete lack of a “non-natural” consciousness from which an animal can perceive their own nature and behavior from a perspective that is “outside of” and “removed from” the dominant flow of their biological programming. Without this perspective and its ability to observe, analyze, and even judge the instinctual, genetic realm of biological craving and impulse upon which all organic life is based, evolution of consciousness towards willed self-transformation and self-direction is literally unthinkable, and therefore impossible.

Animals aside, all too many humans remain blind slaves to their own pre-programmed natures (as well as the early programming they received in the first few years of life) precisely because this “non-natural” perspective remains underdeveloped within them. The lack of this perspective directly contributes to their inability to conceive of and apply a higher standard of conduct and state of Being for themselves, let alone undertake the intensive and sustained work to achieve it. If a non-natural consciousness does not exist within oneself, there is no possibility of countering, controlling, sublimating, or channeling one’s nature. Without the ability to perceive oneself from “outside of” oneself (a perception that allows you to become contemptuous of any form of slavery to biological nature) change according to will is inconceivable.

Without a non-natural consciousness, no heroic vision is possible; that heroic vision by which one is able to conceive and articulate a superior form for oneself, and to undertake the necessary disciplines to achieve that form.

(as an aside, it is a merciful thing that most animals do not achieve this critical consciousness, for their rude place within the ever-present pressures of the food chain would become absolutely unbearable with its introduction, causing suffering far beyond what is experienced without it. The same can be said for a great many people as well, those who might easily die of shock, revulsion, and horror if self-awareness were to strike them out of the blue)

It must be admitted that this non-natural, self-critical consciousness has caused humankind some of its worst grief, and has been not only the source of, but a continuously open doorway for the infection of various religious and moral ideas that seek to set an individual at war against his or her self, a course that is not the same as a selective atrophying and emphasizing; an integrating, training, utilizing, and overcoming of one’s own nature.

As the first and at present only known animal to attain this level of consciousness that can, like an alien being, regard, analyze, judge, oppose, and creatively integrate and conditionally accept the biology that sustains it, human beings are the “deviant” species par excellence! Accordingly it should be examined to what extent the emergence and development of this critical, formative, non-natural consciousness comes from, causes, and is exacerbated and focused by what we call “deviancy”, in so far as this level of consciousness is itself a deviation from the predominant thoughtlessness of nature.

In other words – without the “non-natural” consciousness that makes it possible to wrench oneself free from the mindless flow of nature, deviancy (as an aberration and departure from a numerically accepted standard) would not exist. Could this consciousness itself have developed and “sharpened” itself without the reality of deviancy – a standard against which to rebel and hone itself? Can its very fight against the standard of “nature” and “conformity to a dominant standard” provide fuel for its evolutionary climb?

-Werbinox

The Conqueror Worm

A few nights ago I was flipping channels and caught a late night showing of the late 60’s British horror movie “Witchfinder General” starring Vincent Price, which was released in the US under the somewhat ambiguous title “The Conqueror Worm”, which was taken from the name of a poem by E.A. Poe, and involved an attempt to capitalize on the Roger Corman “Poe” flicks that were popular at the time.

“The Conqueror Worm” was what it was called that night I first saw it as an 8 year-old turning on my bedroom TV at midnight on a Saturday to catch a show called “Creature Feature” in the hopes of seeing my beloved Godzilla / giant bug / zombie-killer monster movies. Instead I got treated to a woman being dragged at the end of a rope thru village streets, surrounded by a mob of blank-faced townsfolk, screaming shrilly at her powerlessness to prevent what was happening to her as she was strung up in a noose and hung – an action which effectively choked off her totally unnerving shrieking.

This is how the movie begins. As an 8 year-old I experienced this opening scene as a seminal revelation of horror that disturbed me to the depths of my soul, not least because it gave me the first erection I ever had in my life, something that I did not at all understand.

‘What kind of world is this portraying?’ I thought, not in those words, but the meaning was the same. I had never seen anything like it. It was an alien vision, something I would never have suspected. Did this kind of thing actually happen? Was there at one time a world so brutal that people would do this kind of thing to one another – cause a helpless person to scream in utter abandon as she was tortured and killed? And why am I at the same time feeling a flame of perplexing excitement deep down, something I have never felt before? What is happening to my body? How can something that repulses and horrifies me beyond words at the same time make my penis grow? Suffice it to say this movie frightened me on a level far beyond my ability to understand at the time, and which I still do not fully understand to this day. Now that is a horror film!

I remember telling my mom a few weeks later that I thought something was wrong with me. We were in the car on the way home from the grocery store. I told her what had happened to me, that a part of my body had changed while I watched this terrible scene. She laughed and assured me that I was totally normal and had nothing to worry about, tho I wonder what went thru her head concerning the stimulus that caused this first reaction. I imagine her looking out the window after this consoling speech with eyes as wide as banjos, thinking – ‘O my God!’

I did not finish the entire movie on that night so long ago. That first scene disturbed me enough, and the depictions of sadism that followed, what with its victims screaming in the most amplified and unhinged way as Vincent Price as “Mathew Hopkins: Witchfinder General” blathers on about doing the “Lord’s work” – was simply too much for me as an 8 year old. It stirred the blackest feelings I have ever known, a desire to destroy such people as would do this kind of thing to other people, and an unarticulated recognition that I had such a being as this inside of me, a capering imp who might do something so degenerate as masturbate to a snuff film. How can this be?

I apologize to all for getting so graphically crude, but in the spirit of Alatheia, it is true!

In summation, “The Conqueror Worm” was an iconic event in my early life that revealed to me a violent split in my nature – an overt disgust and hatred for all forms of coercion against human beings / and a secret, hidden erotic charge at the idea and spectacle of it. How black and twisted was I?

Since then I have studied much history, specifically the darkest, most violent aspects. I learned that what I witnessed in that opening scene was actually tame in comparison with reality, and that the torture and executions and witch burnings of the long-running Inquisition were far more brutal (and on a much vaster scale) than anything a movie could show, let alone a 1960’s horror movie that was nevertheless considered disturbing enough to merit extensive cutting for its European audience (yet received almost no censorship at all for its American release) Accused “witches” were at times actually taken from the fire in a half-burned state so that they could wallow on the ground in an hour of agony before being put back on the fire. Even in our own times a movie would not be allowed top so graphically display such a reality, unless it were an underground film…and yet these things actually happened.

A few nights ago I found “The Conqueror Worm” playing on a Satellite channel, hosted by Rob Zombie. After seeing his movie entitled “The Devil’s Rejects”, with its focus upon a family of sadistic murderers who commit all sorts of “erotically charged” cruelty on their victims, this made sense to me. As fate would have it, I caught it at the very beginning, and finally watched the entire film. I can honestly say that, for me, the passage of years has not dimmed the horror that this movie possesses. It contains all the qualities we know in our own time – a repressed, warped sexuality that finds its outlets in base cruelty and torture while cloaking itself in the guise of the doing “God’s work”, the drunken intoxication of power and its abuse, the malleability of a herd mentality that is willing to allow the focus of its anger and fear to be turned upon government and church sanctioned targets and “outcasts” such as witches (or gays, immigrants, Muslims, Satanists, etc.) and the wholesale slaughter of these targets of demagogic hatred and fear.

Not only that, we see the cynical motives of those who wield coercive power over the town and country folk. Not only do they “get off” on exercising power over others, they solicit sexual favors from them in exchange for a fleeting and false sense of security, and get paid for every “witch” that they burn…..plus, the scenes of dunking men and women in the water to prove they are disciples of Satan, and those Bodkin-in-the-wart-on-the-back screams still possess the power to disturb.

I have since learned that I am not so much the freak as I once thought. Crowds of townsfolk showed up to witness public executions, and many brought their children, for it was a family event! Sure, it was all framed in the context of witnessing justice, and the “defeat of evil”, and the children were given an unforgettable education on the consequences of defying the herd, but it is my assertion (and not just mine) that an erotic current, perhaps made all the more powerful by a repressed sexuality, ran thru many of the spectators just as it did for the torturers and executioners, something none of them would have admitted to each other or even to themselves, but kept secret. I bet it disturbed a lot of them as well, much more than it did me, who simply witnessed it on a TV screen.

My discovery of this nature within myself has led me to a natural outlet for it. On the one hand I am a committed Libertarian political activist who fights against the use and spread of coercion as a basis for human life and society; and on the other hand I have discovered the world of BDSM, which is an advanced evolutionary development precisely because it allows human beings to explore their sado-masochistic nature in a safe, consensual environment that is utterly devoid of actual coercion.

I sometimes have moments of sympathy for sadistic serial killers, only in so far as I understand them to be people like myself who nevertheless suffer from a radically disproportionate inclination towards the marriage of cruelty, violence, and eros within themselves, whereas my discovery of my own version of this has always been safely manageable, and completely within the bounds of my own control.

Aside from those sadistic individuals who realize that the ability to enact terroristic violence against other humans under the guise of a “noble cause” such as God or Government / Church & State can earn them power and financial rewards, I wonder about those who actually believe their own bullshit. I wonder about those who feel the erotic current inside themselves as they observe other human beings and, because of religious indoctrinations that may tell them that this power comes from an alien entity that is out to destroy them and the whole world, seek to destroy this part of themselves when they try to destroy others. This is the fear-based motivation that drives particularly committed members of the religious right to try to destroy homosexuals, and it is a basis of all hatred everywhere. As Clint Eastwood say’s in High Plains Drifter – “Its what men know about themselves inside that makes them afraid”.

Is this a part of my violent hatred for those who would torture and kill others in the name of a noble cause? Am I attempting to destroy this nature in me when I declare war upon them? Whatever the reason, the opposition to coercion is a worthy cause, as is the adoption of consensual outlets for the “darker” aspects of our nature

Yes, the movie Witchfinder General, or – “The Conqueror Worm”, had a seminal effect on me. Has anyone else seen it?

-Werbinox

Ennobling Architecture

Looking at “Architectural Digest”, I see some great homes & interiors that a modern Louis the IV might envy. I ask myself how many people actually “deserve” to live in such works of art? By this I mean that one can have the experience of seeing such a magnificent man-made environment and assuming that whoever lives there must be equally fascinating and magnificent, only to discover that once again a mediocrity has enough money to pay for something ostentatious in the hopes that it might “ennoble” him, and cement his stature. Such is the democracy of money, which makes no distinction between individuals (and it is the individual his or herself who must distinguish their money)

The talent for making money, which distinguishes the one who has it from those who merely inherit it, or gain it by fraud and theft, nevertheless does not always translate itself into an over-all fascinating, creative, and noble character. Often it is the result of an ingrained habit of industriousness, a narrowness of focus and even myopia, and a good sense of timing (or just luck in it – the gambler’s instinct!)

It is good for the human soul to be inspired by inventive and ennobling environments. Yet a man cannot be ennobled or rendered into “greatness” by his home and his possessions. It is he himself who must ennoble them by the greatness he possesses and cultivates within his own soul. The method of molding one’s interior state from an exterior form can work its magic best only if the exterior design already contains the objectified, manifest spirit of an interior realm that reaches for a vision by which to transform itself. In other words, the objective, material universe must be endowed with, and charged by, the designs of one’s own spirit before it can exercise a reinforcing influence upon it.

-Werbinox

The Yumocha

To the Amalmuks, creation is a vast dream, and the Prime Dreamer is Aricondo, who dreams the world into existence.

The Amalmuks call their planet Quareyel. They are not aware that it is a planet amongst millions of others. They are aware of other planets, but do not consider their own land to be on one. To them it is the center of all creation.

Aricondo is not fully aware that Quareyel even exists, for He is not conscious at all. He is the abyss, the substratum from which everything arises, including the Amalmuks themselves, who are fractal figments of Aricondo’s dream, and who transform His dream current into smaller streams – dreaming their own worlds collectively and individually.

Aricondo almost never awakens, yet one day He will and the cosmos will end in a blinding flash of illumination. Then Aricondo will fall asleep again, and dream Quareyel into existence anew.

Long before the Amalmuks and the creatures that crawl and fly appeared in Aricondo’s dream, two powerful brothers and a sister manifested and established the natural laws of the universe that govern all things. These “gods” are aspects of Aricondo Himself, roles he plays in His dream so as to express the inexhaustible interplay of His own nature.

The first was Gla Biu Acsoba, who wore the sun as a crown upon his head and pushed it up into the sky from the fathomless depths beyond the edge of the sea. Once he got it high enough he released it, and proclaimed “I have emerged. I shall rise!”

From there he set forth to emerge from, and rise within, whatever he could. Whenever he saw the boundary of the unknown in which he did not yet exist, he crossed it – pushing the rising sun of his own being into the mystery. Thus he continually became.

To the Amalmuks, Gla Biu Acsoba is the one who emerges, the one who rises. They worship him as the god of new beginnings and renewals, and see his spirit in all who push themselves into the unknown. As the initiator of ecstasy that draws life endlessly towards it, Gla Biu Acsoba is the god of the future that gives the rule to the present, influencing it from his flaming throne on the distant horizon.

Whenever an Amalmuk aspires towards a future event, a new sunrise, a new love, a new child, he or she aspires towards Gla Biu Acsoba, who emerges in the hearts of the lovers, rises in their joining, and extends throughout all that they create.

Every morning that they can manage it, the Amalmuks gather on the sand to watch Gla Biu Acsoba push the sun upwards as a crown upon his head. When they see him, he rises within their minds and souls. The dream of Aricondo is thus justified and beautified. The golden path is extended towards each individual. Breaking the threshold of the subterranean horizon, the Golden Path crosses the distance to end and begin at each individual’s feet. It shimmers in glowing steps on undulating waves, a staircase of sparkling fire.

Soon after Gla Biu’s arrival, a second powerful brother manifested from Aricondo’s dream – Yu Glar Acsoba. Beholding the feat of the risen sun with fear, rage, and vengeance for what had already been accomplished without him, Yu Glar pulled it down from the sky and sent it hurtling back into the abyss beyond the edge of the sea.
Yu Glar is the jealous, hateful brother of Gla Biu Acsoba. The Amalmuks say that he is the dark side of Aricondo Himself. Whatever Gla Biu raises up, Yu Glar pulls down.
Gla Biu built a magnificent house, the likes of which had never before been seen on earth. While he was away raising the sun back into the sky, Yu Glar pulled the house down into a heap of dirt, covering it with weeds as if it had never existed.
Gla Biu raised immense towers of stone from the earth, building them with unimaginable pressures into the heights, where they were clothed with magisterial garments of ice and snow. Yu Glar tore these towers down and cast their remains into the sea.

Gla Biu fashioned a wife for himself, breathing the fire of life into her. While Gla Biu was away raising water into the air to create new opportunities for his artistry, Yu Glar snuck up behind his wife and blew a freezing wind into her soul, extinguishing the fire and causing her to die.

And so Quareyel was threatened by constant creation and destruction, and nothing lasted long enough for anything new to grow upon it. There was no rest from the constant chaos. It was at this time that Siga Ru, sister to Gla Biu and Yu Glar, arose from Aricondo's dream to bring peace between the two brothers. The mediating effect of her presence brought a degree of stability to the world of constant motion that was inaugurated by the constant warfare of her two brothers. When Gla Biu pushed the sun into the sky, Siga Ru held it aloft long enough to allow all things to grow upon Quareyel, before Yu Glar was allowed to cast it once again into the abyss beyond the edge of the sea. This arrangement led to the regular procession of night and day. With the establishment of such favorable conditions, life took root and grew. New forms emerged for Gla Biu to touch with the magic of his rising, and Sig Ru maintained their acquired growth with her loving touch, which ever strives to keep things the same. Yu Glar, not to be ignored, played his part as well, and in turn touched everything with decline, decay, and death. In this way Aricondo struck a balance in the metamorphosis of his dream forms.

Gla Biu fashioned another wife for himself, who gave birth to a brood of children who, thru numerous adventures and convolutions as told in Amalmuk mythology, went on to create the Amalmuks themselves, as well as the other tribes who are their enemies - the Fwoutel and the Tau.

The Amalmuks say that Siga Ru is a mixture of her two brothers, which is why she exercises a calming influence between them. Sometimes, however, she favors one over the other, which is why there are times of light and growth, and times of darkness and death. To the Amalmuks she is the most important goddess of all, and many of them prefer to appeal to her personally as an intercessor between themselves and her brother-gods. Altho she slows down the flux and turmoil between them, she can never eradicate it completely. In her presence Gla Biu and Yu Glar appear to be in harmony, but apart from her they pursue their work with a ruthless, single-minded purpose.
Tho Gla Biu despairs to see his work undone, he does not hate Yu Glar. He is simply too busy with the joy of his work to hate anything. Each new emergence, each act of rising, is a liberation and continuous justification of existence. Yu Glar is rarely, if ever, in his thoughts. Yu Glar, however, is ever scheming against his brother, finding new ways to accomplish his own work of destruction.

Yu Glar noticed how his brothers' work was protected and even furthered by his sister, how everything he raised was solidified and sustained by her magic. He therefore resolved to use her for his own work. One day he snuck up behind Siga Ru and, singing softly into her ear, put her to sleep. When Siga Ru fell asleep, all life on Quareyel fell into a twilight trance. The power of Gla Biu Acsoba could not penetrate the fog of stillness under which all life slept, and soon everything began to die. Yu Glar rejoiced in triumph when he saw how successful his spell had been, and he began to dance and shout. The noise of his gloating aroused Siga Ru from her slumber. Seeing his opportunity, Gla Biu shouted into her ear:

"Arise my beloved, for Quareyel awaits you!"
Siga Ru leaped to her feet, releasing all that lived from the catatonic trance that had entombed it. Yu Glar, seeing his plan fail, slunk away in resentment, vowing to cast his spell again one day, for nothing stands still that does not slide towards him.

In darkness Yu Glar grew into a powerful sorcerer, and discovered many devious ways to undermine all that his brother created and his sister maintained. The creatures of Quareyel worshipped his brother and loved his sister, yet they feared he himself. Thru this fear he fashioned his most potent weapon of all.

Yu Glar stood upon a mountain and cast his shadow upon the valley below. Dredging up all of his rage and desire to destroy from the depths of his black and terrible soul, he concentrated it into a ball and hurled it into his shadow. At that moment his shadow came to life and set forth upon Quareyel to serve and extend Yu Glar's will.

The Amalmuks call this shadow "Yumocha", which in their language means "Shadow of Yu Glar". They fear it greatly because of its ability to assume the shape of whatever they fear the most. Thru the Yumocha, the weakening, death-inspiring power of Yu Glar himself is personalized for every Amalmuk; indeed, it is personalized for every life-form – everywhere.

When an Amalmuk is frightened, it does not matter what it might be, it is the Yumocha that he fears. Whether the cause is King, Father, Wife, Beast, or Death itself, it makes no difference; the shadow of Yu Glar is upon them. When an Amalmuk loses the will to live, it is the Yumocha that takes it from him. Anything that keeps one from the rising gifts of Gla Biu Acsoba is seen as the Yumocha. Fear is malleable, and the Yumocha wears many faces. Whether it be timidity, loneliness, heartbreak, laziness, crippling doubt, or self-hatred, it is all the Yumocha, and one must challenge it, elst Yu Glar gains another victim.

How does one challenge the Yumocha, you might ask?
The Amalmuks say one must connect with the gifts of Gla Biu Acsoba as much as possible, which is why as many who can will go down to the beach every morning to watch him push the sun out of the abyss beyond the edge of the sea.

You must learn new things, new skills, and push yourself into tasks that are strange and difficult; you must embark upon new training, go on frequent adventures, and face your fears as often as possible - which shrinks the scope of their influence, and reduces their potency. One must give Yu Glar's shadow less and less to work with.

The Amalmuks have great respect for Siga Ru and her ability to keep the gifts of Gla Biu Acsoba from slipping away. Yet they also recognize her dual nature, and that one must be careful lest they become seduced into the darkness of Yu Glar's shadow thru her gifts of preservation and stasis.

Tre*Katu, a powerful chief from the more recent past, claimed to have defeated the Yumocha in battle by "becoming it". As he was on his knees, the life slipping away from him, he claimed to realize that its power came from him, that it was in fact he himself and not some alien adversary, no matter how much it tried to convince him otherwise. When he realized this, his power came back to him and he was able to defeat it, but not before he died and descended to the Underworld from which few ever return. While there, in the unfathomable darkness between life and death, he saw the point where the Two Brothers are connected as one; that the power of each is in fact the same, and that only thru an encounter with death can one truly be brought back to life. From this tale dates the Amalmuk teaching that only by embracing death can one really live, and that to defeat the Yumocha one must become the Yumocha by realizing it is already a part of oneself, and by reclaiming it and integrating it so that it is no longer a deadly enemy.

- Werbinox

New Frontiers

1

To embrace reality and its clarity can never be a negative thing, no matter how incongruous it is with what you want to be true.

2

Better a harsh and unpleasant truth than a continued lingering in paralyzing delusion. At the very least, movement is restored.

3

It is not possible to become great, i.e. to evolve to higher levels of awareness, power, and organization of abilities and resources, without possessing qualities that are dangerous in the sense that they can isolate oneself, and possibly lead to madness if one is not strong enough to control and integrate them. One cannot become great without facing challenges the nature of which can crush and destroy lesser men.

- Werbinox